My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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