just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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