Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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