Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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