dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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