i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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