I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
