Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
