You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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