so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I love you. Go after that dick
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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