that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
