I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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