Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
