Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
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