i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
