Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
