ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
So. Much. Porn.
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