MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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