If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
