As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
