So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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