The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
