We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Come on in and take your pants off
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