i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
