I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
