I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Randomize
