I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
