I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You've changed since you got that strap on
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