I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
