If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
she told me i tasted like america
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
