He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
