good thing vaginas are great cup holders
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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