i don't plan on having that self control this summer
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
The adults are the big ones right?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
