I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize