I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
What a dumb baby whore.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Randomize
