What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I understand Curling. That high.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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