i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
