For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
