it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
