I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
