he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Who died my cat blue again?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
