just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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