so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
