I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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