It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
