She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
