that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize
