I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
