He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
