party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
